happy life quotes when someone asks me how lifes going
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Funny Life Quotes

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. | Douglas Adams

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. | Kurt Vonnegut

These things sneak up on him for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It’s probably a vitamin deficiency. | Margaret Atwood

Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work. | Darynda Jones

happy life quotes that's one of the most remarkable things
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Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way. | Charles Bukowski

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. | Gloria Steinem

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. | Oscar Wilde

No bikinis on a first date.” He nods. “I’m sure that’s a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway. | Huntley Fitzpatrick

chocolate doesn't ask silly questions happy life quotes
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. | Woody Allen

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,” he said. “Have you thought of going into teaching?” | Terry Pratchett

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. | Elbert Hubbard

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times. | Mark Twain

i'm not arguing i'm simply explaining why I'm right
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When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed. | Laurell K. Hamilton

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle. | Carl Hiaasen

Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail. | Sophie Kinsella

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. | George Orwell

the problem with the world is that happy life quotes
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You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named “Bush”, “Dick”, and “Colin.” Need I say more? | Chris Rock

You stole a boat,” she snapped. “What am I doing with you, you boat-stealing lunatic?” | Cassandra Clare

Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny. | Stephen Hawking

I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within. | Gustave Flaubert

Hope some of these funny life quotes made you laugh!

life is not a fairy tale if you lose your shoe
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I’m too young, too smart and too good-looking to die. | Sherrilyn Kenyon

I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability. | Ron White

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me. | Dave Barry

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. | Albert Schweitzer

the sign of intelligence is that you are constantly wondering
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked. | George Carlin

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific. | Lily Tomlin

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. | Groucho Marx

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. | Mark Twain

happy life quotes life is so much funnier
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They love their hair because they’re not smart enough to love something more interesting. | John Green

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. | Rodney Dangerfield

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. | Winston S. Churchill

A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man. | Arthur Schopenhauer

 

that moment when you talk to yourself
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Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. | Golda Meir

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. | George Carlin

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. | Lawrence Ferlinghetti

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. | Samuel Johnson

technically according to chemistry whiskey is a solution
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Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. | Yogi Berra

The word “future” and females is a dangerous combination. | Chetan Bhagat

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling. | Friedrich Nietzsche

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive. | Robert A. Heinlein

 

happy life quotes always find a reason to laugh
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I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist. | Gena Showalter

If the apocalypse comes…beep me! | Joss Whedon

She’s strong! And scary…I bet she’s single…I’d put money on it. | Masashi Kishimoto

Never miss a good chance to shut up. | Will Rogers

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I need a six month vacation twice a year
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Puns are the highest form of literature. | Alfred Hitchcock

This is my depressed stance. When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this. | Charles M. Schulz

First, I blow a hole in your face; then I go back inside, and sleep like a baby… I guarantee you. | Clint Eastwood

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. | James Thurber

me I'm finally happy life lol wait a sec happy life quotes
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Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided. | Mae West
I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it | Terry Lander
Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks. | Holly Black
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. | Bill Watterson

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