I was sitting in a bar last night in SF, martini in hand, surrounded by my best friends and other amazing people…and I just was listening…listening to my friends laughing their heads off. I was thinking back to who I was the same time last year and just smiled. I smiled for all I’ve lost and all I’ve become. For those I miss and for those who are right here. I smiled because I’m right “here.” Maybe I didn’t end up where I thought I should be, but I think I’ve landed right where I needed to be. I’m right here. 🍸🗻
It’s funny how two things that seemingly contradict one another can both hold as true. Absolute chaos and completely still. And yet, if you embrace it all, you can still be right there doing your thing lighting fires in others hearts 🌼
I’ve given away little pieces of me throughout my life. I’ve left them in people’s hearts, I’ve left them in places, I’ve left them in moments. At one point in my life I thought that I “lost” those pieces when things changed. But now, I realize something much more different – that I will always find home in those people, those places, and in those memories because there exists my mark. My love. The influence of my living. Never have I felt not at home again no matter how far off I sail into the unknown ⛵️
When I was little, I used to run around my grandpas yard, catch fireflies and call it “lightning in bottle.” I thought it was magic. Today, something in me snapped, it sent this type of pain all throughout my body, and then I just let everything I needed to go. I let the wind take it all. And I knew it was time to find that magic again…that lightning that’s always been within me when I needed it…and to start this fire I’ve been waiting to see roar for years. It’s time to ink up those clean pages again…and to write the next chapter of this story. Tomorrow. A new start.
I am, by calling, a dealer in words; and words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind 📖
Thinking about these next two months and the changes that are coming my way…I may never come back ⛵️
When my mind finally came back around, I felt something “click.” I haven’t felt a click like this in a long long time. The last time I found my purpose. This time…I found something that sent lightning back into my bones…and I knew, that I had finally found that thing. That one thing that, as my best friend once told me, will allow me to “burn the whole F’ing forest down.” Ignite 🔥🌲
I met this woman who is a healer and she took one look at me and goes…”mhmm. I want to tell you something and I want you to remember this. Don’t ever close off. I know you want to…you don’t have to. Keep your hand outstretched. Keep branding your love onto other people’s hearts. You really have no idea how much you are impacting people. You’re doing it in ways they will never be able to forget. Oh and that “wave” you have been feeling that’s coming…it is…soon, very soon, everything will change…and I know you’re nervous about whether or not you can handle it…but you’re going to ride it all the way to the end and it’s going to be the greatest adventure of your life. Don’t ever stop leading with that beautiful heart.” ⛵️🌊⚡️🌲🙏🏻
Show me your flaws. Share with me your deepest fears. Tell me your bad thoughts. Expose your demons. Run my fingers across the scars on your body and the cracks in your heart. I will treat you like art. Fall apart in front of me. Cry tears that would fill reservoirs. Shake in your boots. Tremble from your past. Tell me your doubts and uncertainties about the future. Show me the dark. The blacker than black. The things that you think would make me run for the hills. Secret about me is…I see all those dark colors and know what to do with them. I throw them onto the canvas that is your soul and paint something even more beautiful than I could without them. Mix them in. Pour them out. The imperfections are beautiful to me. I will cherish them. They are what’s real. That’s where the magic is. We are all perfectly broken.
F e e l s /// 🔥
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